I’m a psychiatrist by training and spiritual healer by calling. My medical expertise is in alternative mental health modalities such as psychedelic therapy, TMS, and neuro plastic therapy. My goal is to help humanity find self-healing, self-growth, self-love, and self-transcendence to improve collective social consciousness.
I grew up with an abundance of love. My only trauma was from self-inflicted bad decisions that turned into learning experiences. My family went through normal stressors. I struggled to find balance as a teenager, trying to find identity and validation through my rebellious phases. With amazing family, friends, mentors, and colleagues, the universe guided me towards a stronger moral compass and aligned purpose in life. As a psychiatrist, I started my own clinic and regrettably focused on efficiency over care. I had over $500,000 in student loan debt, and I was scheduling 4-5 patients per hour to try and catch up financially. I was caring and compassionate still, but that led to 2 hour wait times. I practiced medication management, the way I was taught. It was in my nature to be loving, but I had yet to harness psychotherapy in my tool kit. Early in my career, I lost my first patient to suicide. I received an email: “Dr Zand, if you are reading this email, I have taken my life.” He went on to say he found peace and shared complimentary feedback, but his attempt to console and thank me was received with guilt, shame, and self-judgment. My mentors told me statistically in our work, it is inevitable that we will lose a patient. I couldn’t accept this. He always said he was doing ok, that the medication mildly helped. What could I have done more to connect with him and serve my duty to help him heal? I immediately began to channel my guilt and regret into action. Addressing my patients’ emotional conflicts became the priority. I better understood the bio-psycho-social-spiritual model. Helping my patients structure an empowering perspective of life became the solution. Today, I hike with my patients, we play chess (I get beat often), we talk about mortality and sexuality, we spend as much time together as we need, and I make sure every patient I see knows they have someone who cares for them and loves them. Had my former patient visited with me now, we would have spent more time together exploring internal and external stressors. I have his email printed and saved in my desk, to honor him, to remind me of the power of emotional healing, and to help ensure I don’t lose anyone else.
What helps my mental health: Seeing my patients, meaningful conversations with family and friends, reframing negative thoughts, cold showers, steam room meditation, regular exercise, breath work, ketamine therapy, processing conflicts with loved ones, morning routines without my phone, visualizations, taking digital detox river trips, connecting with nature.